In Sickness and In Life
by NettieC
Summary: Moving on from 'The Path to Healing', a stomach bug strikes the MacKenzie - Rabb household and with it a startling new revelation.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: not mine  
>AN: this is a sequel of sorts to The Path to Healing, but I don't think it matters if you haven't read the first story.<p>

In Sickness and in Life

The room was dark and silent, just the way he liked it when he was sick. The window was open behind the heavy drapes allowing a small amount of air to circulate and the bed covers were crumpled in a heap beside the bed after he had kicked them off in a fevered struggle. Feeling sick and sorry for himself, Harm reached blindly for the bottle of water he knew was on his side table, knocking off the clock radio in the process.

Soon there were footsteps and a soft rap on the door before it opened.  
>"Harm, honey, everything alright?" asked Trish, trying to find her son in the darkness of the room.<br>"Yeah, mom," he croaked. "Just knocked something off the table looking for my water."

Opening the door further to let more light in, Trish saw the radio and picked it up, returning it to its rightful place, before handing him the bottle of water.  
>"How are you feeling? Any better?" she asked, feeling his forehead.<br>"Worse, if anything," he said, rolling his head around to look at her.  
>"I really think I should call the doctor in," Trish said, smoothing out the bed sheet which remained over her son.<br>"How are the kids?" he asked, feeling bad he couldn't look after his own children while Mac was in DC.  
>"David's fine," she said, "Had a big nap this afternoon and is currently exploring the backyard with grandpa. As for Ella, I think she's picked up your bug. She's not at all herself today."<br>"Oh, poor baby," he said, tears pricking his eyes, hating to think that he'd passed on his germs. "Where is she?"  
>"She's asleep on the sofa," Trish reported. "Hasn't eaten anything all day and is looking quite pale."<br>"Oh, poor baby," he repeated. Wishing he had the strength to get up and go see her. As it was, it was going to take all his efforts to get to the bathroom before he wet himself or threw up.  
>"Where are you going?" Trish asked when she saw Harm pull at the sheet and try and swing his legs at the same time, not succeeding in either task.<br>"Bath...room," he said, grabbing the bed as his stomach churned and head spun.

In the end it was a twenty minute painful mission to use the bathroom, having to stop and regroup several times as him stomach and head had different ideas to the rest of his body. When he opened the bathroom door, Frank was standing there waiting.  
>"Your mother sent me to investigate," he said, taking Harm's arm as he took a few tentative steps. "She wasn't sure what state you'd be in."<br>"I think I died," Harm grumbled, taking a few shuffling steps. "And just didn't tell my body."

Frank leant across to pull back the covers Trish had put back on but Harm shook his head.  
>"Want to see El..." he managed before being overcome by a coughing fit.<br>"Are you sure you can make it?" Frank asked, quite concerned by Harm's appearance. He'd known the younger man 30 years and had never seen him so ill.  
>"Nope," Harm replied honestly. "But I need to see her."<p>

Harm got as far as the kitchen door before his body betrayed him and he threw up all over the place.  
>"Oh, I'm so sorry," he apologised knowing his mom or Frank would be cleaning up the mess.<br>"It's okay, son," Frank said, rubbing his back. "Stand here and I'll get you a bucket."  
>"Think it's too late for that," Harm said leaning against the door jamb.<p>

Weary, Harm closed his eyes as he stood there, waiting for someone to put him back to bed. When he heard a noise he managed to open one eye to find Trish and Ella entering the room from the other end of the kitchen.  
>"Don't come too close," Harm said, opening both eyes. "I kinda made a mess."<br>"Must run in the family," Trish said with an exhausted smile. "This one's just done the same thing in the living room."  
>"Sorry, mom," he said, feeling really bad about the mess they'd created but thankful it was their own house and not his mom's.<br>"It's okay, son," she said, walking Ella around the mess. "I'm going to get Ella cleaned up and put her to bed and then I'll clean it up."  
>"Can you put her in my bed?" he asked, wanting to be able to look after her the best he could. "I want to look after her."<br>"Do you think that's wise?" Trish asked, knowing they both needed their space and sleep.  
>"Yeah," he said. "I can at least be company for her."<br>"Okay," Trish said with a nod, maybe it would be easier if they were both in the same room.

Once both patients were showered, changed and tucked into bed with buckets nearby, Trish joined Frank who had started the clean up.  
>"Before you start to help," he said, kneeling in the middle of the living room floor. "I think you should call in the doctor."<br>Trish nodded, she'd been thinking about that herself. "Okay," she said, moving to make the call.

By the time the doctor arrived, Ella and Harm were asleep and David was restless. As Trish sat with the baby and the doctor, Frank went to wake up the others and was greeted by Ella throwing up into the bucket while Harm looked like he was going to join her at any moment.  
>"It's okay, baby," Harm said as he tried to soothe her while his stomach tumbled vigorously.<br>"I want mommy," she cried before throwing up again.  
>"Me too," Harm said, rubbing her back.<br>"Mommy knows how to..." she began to say before vomiting. "Make me feel better."  
>"Well, maybe Dr Walker will help, sweetheart," Frank said, wiping her face before handing her some water.<p>

In the end, the diagnosis was simple; a severe stomach bug had invaded the Rabb household and had them under siege. Plenty of fluids, plenty of rest, and some antibiotics and the patients should be on the road to recovery. With David not being ill and hoping the eight month old wouldn't be affected like the others, Trish suggested Frank take him to their place and she'd stay behind but Frank shook his head.

While Trish had been busy with the doctor and the bigger patients, he had called Mac, something which Trish had been reluctant to do.  
>"I called Mac, she's headed back on the next flight," he reported, "She'll be here by supper time."<br>"Why did you call her?" Trish said, and while she had been reluctant to call Mac herself, she was glad Frank had. It was only because of Harm's insistence not to call her she hadn't.  
>"Because it's her family and she'd want to know," Frank said. "And she did," he continued. "She is quite concerned about them both and was making plans to come home as soon as possible."<br>"Good, I'm glad," Trish said with a nod before Ella yelled out and Trish went scurrying towards the master bedroom.

By the time Mac made it home, Trish was asleep on the sofa, with David tucked between her and the back of the sofa and Frank was asleep in the armchair. The house smelt of a combination of pine disinfectant and grilled cheese sandwiches the pair had eaten for supper; Ella and Harm both declining food.  
>"I'm home," she said quietly, coming into the living room and making her way to her son. Three days away were three days too many. "Come to mommy, baby," she said, reaching over her mother-in-law to pick up her boy.<p>

David's eyes opened with the movement and it took him a moment to focus on his mother's face. When he did, a sleepy smile spread across his face and he reached out for her.  
>"And how are you my precious boy," she cooed as she kissed his forehead, happy when she found he had no temperature. "You're not sick like your daddy and sister are you?"<br>"Hey, sweetheart," Frank said from behind her. "Sorry we didn't hear you come in."  
>"Just arrived, Frank," she said, walking across to him and kissing his cheek. "How are things here?"<br>"Well..." he said before updating her on the doctor's visit, evening's happenings and the fact that the little boy in her arms had so far remained unscathed.  
>"Maybe I'll just have to send you home with grandma and grandpa until daddy and Ella are better," she said, kissing David's head once more.<p>

She hated doing it, especially after not seeing him for three days but she didn't want to put him through the trauma of a stomach bug.  
>"We were thinking the same thing," Frank said, standing and stretching. "I'd hate to see the little guy as sick as those two."<br>Mac nodded before hugging and kissing him again, she really didn't want to let him go but she knew it was the right thing.

Rather than be exposed to the germs of the others and then saying goodbye to David, she held and kissed her boy as Frank woke Trish and they organised their departure.  
>"Call if you need anything, honey," Trish said, taking her grandson from his mother.<br>"And you do the same," she said caressing David's face,  
>"He'll be alright," Frank said, wrapping his arm around Mac and kissing her head. "Now, are you sure you're right with these two? I can stay with you if you like."<br>"Thanks, Frank," she said appreciatively. "But you both are exhausted. I'm sure I'll be fine tonight and we can re-evaluate in the morning."

Once Frank had reversed out of their driveway, Mac closed the door, took a deep breath and headed to the bedroom. Her two nights in DC had allowed her a total of five hours of sleep due to the hectic schedule and long meetings. As she approached her bedroom, she crossed her fingers in the hope the worst was over.

Finding both still asleep, Mac quickly stripped from her uniform into sweats before moving to Harm's side of the bed. Gently, she caressed his face before planting a soft kiss on his forehead, grimacing when she registered his temperature. Picking up the compress, she poured some water on it before using it to wipe his face, hoping it would bring him some comfort. He stirred momentarily but didn't wake and Mac guessed it was for the best.

Moving to the other side of the bed, she did the same to her daughter and was rewarded with a smile.  
>"Are you really home, mommy, or am I dreaming?" Ella asked blinking a few times as she looked at her mother.<br>"I'm really home, baby," Mac said, kissing her head once more. "Grandpa called me and told me how sick you and daddy were and I came straight home."  
>"Good," she said, trying to sit up so she could hug her mother.<br>"Come here," Mac said, helping her when she realised her daughter's intention. "How are you feeling, Ella?"  
>"Bad," she said tearfully. "Really bad."<br>"Well, mommy's here now," she said, kissing her head. "I'll look after you."

Ten minutes later, with Ella still awake, Mac caressed her daughter's face.  
>"Aren't you tired?" she asked Ella, glad her temperature was down.<br>"Yeah," she said with a sigh, "But I've been in bed forever."  
>"Well, how about we go curl up in the living room and watch a movie," Mac suggested, ignoring the fact it was nearly midnight.<br>"That sounds good, mom," she said, sitting up once more. "But I'm all smelly and sticky,"  
>"How about you have a shower first and I'll get you some fresh pj's?" she said and Ella nodded.<p>

The child's enthusiasm, and energy, lasted until she made it into the bathroom and found just stripping off exhausting. One look at her face told Mac all she needed to know about her daughter's wellbeing.  
>"Would you like mommy to have a shower too and help you?" she asked and Ella nodded with a weary smile. When she was little she loved having a bath or shower with her mom, but now she was nearly eight and a half, it hadn't happened in a long time.<p>

Using her own products on her daughter, Mac washed and conditioned the child's hair before using a soft sponge and body wash all over her sensitive skin.  
>"Smells nice," Ella said with a yawn.<br>"It's jasmine and vanilla," Mac said, caressing her face. "You'll smell beautiful."  
>"Better than smelling like sick," she said, resting her head on Mac's chest.<br>"Much better," Mac agreed.

When both were adequately washed, dried and dressed in fresh pyjamas, Mac took Ella's hand and led her to the living room before organising the cushions and a blanket on the sofa. Once the girl was settled, Mac returned to the bedroom and collected the bucket, just in case, and placed it next to the sofa. Next, she went into the kitchen for two bottles of water and an ice block rehydration preparation that Trish had purchased for Ella.  
>"Do you think you can eat this for me?" Mac asked, handing Ella the orange ice block. "It will make you feel better."<br>"Okay," Ella said with a nod, taking the item.

Ella had chosen Toy Story 3 as her DVD of choice and Mac set it up for them. Once everything was ready, she settled on the sofa and stroked her daughter's head. The child falling asleep a few minutes after she finished her ice block.

Prepared to stay put and allow her daughter to sleep, Mac's plans were altered when she heard noises from the bedroom. Easing herself away from the child, Mac walked towards the bedroom to be confronted by a very disorientated husband coming the other way.  
>"Don't yell at me," were his first words as he tried to focus on his wife's face.<br>"Why would I yell at you?" Mac asked coming to stand in front of him.  
>"I think I'm in trouble," he said looking past his wife.<br>"Why are you in trouble?" she asked, placing her hand on his face and redirecting his attention back to her.  
>"I think I've lost the kids," he said, a frown creasing his face. "They were here and now they're not."<br>"You haven't lost them, beautiful," she said, gently patting his face. "Your mom and Frank took David home with them and Ella is on the sofa."  
>"Oh, okay," he said with a nod before something registered in his addled brain.<br>"So, when do you think you'll be home from...wherever you went?" he questioned, his words slow and deliberate.  
>"I'm home now, Harm," she said, concerned about his level of awareness. Taking his hand she placed it on her face. "See, I'm really here, it's not a dream."<br>"So, you're home?" he questioned and Mac nodded. "Can you please take care of me?" he questioned and Mac nodded again. "Good," he said before turning around and shuffling back towards their room.

Mac watched as he opened the door to the linen closet rather than their bedroom and tried to step inside.  
>"Mac," he called. "Now, I've lost the bedroom!"<br>"Okay, okay," she said gently, taking his hand and pulling him away so she could close the door. "Our bedroom is the next door."  
>"Since when?" he questioned, allowing her to lead him to wherever she was headed.<br>"Oh, for a while," she said with half a smile.  
>"You really shouldn't change these things on me when I'm not well," he said shaking his head.<br>"I'm sorry," she replied laughing to herself. He may have been sick and disorientated but he was also utterly adorable in his confused state. "I won't move it again."  
>"Good," he mumbled.<br>"Harm," Mac said when he just stood in the middle of the room not knowing what to do next. "The sheets need changing, honey. How about you go have a shower and change and I'll remake the bed?"  
>"Okay," he said with a nod, it sounded like something he could manage.<p>

In the end, all he managed was to take off his top and get his boxers around his knees before fatigue overwhelmed him and he sat on the toilet waiting for his head to stop spinning. He was still there when Mac came in ten minutes later.  
>"You do know the lid isn't up, don't you?" Mac asked picking up his top to add it to the wash.<br>"Aha," he said with a nod. "Just a bit dizzy."  
>"Okay," Mac said, before dropping the bundle of laundry and removing his boxers for him.<p>

Turning, she started the water and made sure it was only warm, knowing he'd most likely pass out on her if it was too hot. Ideally, she would have run him a bath but she had no way of helping him out if he was unable to help her.  
>"Shower's ready," she said, turning to face him. "Are you?"<br>"Yeah, I think so," he said, forcing himself to stand.

His few unsteady steps told Mac he couldn't really be trusted by himself, so she quickly stripped off and stepped in with him. Thanks to the elderly couple who owned the house before them, the shower was quite large and had a fold out seat and rails installed. When Mac had first seen them she considered removing them but after the births of her two children and the miscarriage, she'd been grateful for somewhere to sit under the pulsating water.  
>"Let me help you," she said, pulling down the seat and getting him to sit.<p>

Adjusting the water spray and direction, she allowed it to run over her husband while she lathered up the sponge and tenderly washed his still fevered skin. "You okay?" she asked when she saw his head back against the wall and his eyes shut.  
>"Yeah," he said with a sigh. "Sorry."<br>"For what?" she asked as she washed a leg.  
>"It's one thing doing this for the kids but you shouldn't have to bathe me,' he said, opening his eyes.<br>"You would do it for me," she said, moving to his other leg.  
>"Could think of better things to do in here," he said with a smirk.<br>"Well, you're not as sick as I thought you were," Mac said with a laugh, glad that even in his current state he could proposition her.  
>"Sadly, all I can do is think...and not very well," he said quietly. "Anything else will definitely have to wait."<br>"That's okay," she said, kissing her forehead. "I will wait patiently."

After washing and rinsing his hair, Mac turned off the taps and stepped out to grab a towel. Taking her time, she dried him the best she could do in the seated position before helping him stand and step out of the cubicle. While he was still standing she dried him thoroughly before sitting him on the edge of the bed so she could dress him without having him pass out on her.  
>"I feel like I'm three," he said, raising his arms so she could pull his tee shirt on.<p>

Mac smiled at him as that's what he was expecting, but inside her heart was breaking. Callum would be three by now. She could imagine him being a mini version of Harm, she would be bathing him, dressing him...he'd have the same smile, the same pout...  
>"Did I say something wrong?" he asked when he saw the tears in her eyes.<br>"No, honey," she said, pulling his clean boxers up to his knees.  
>"I think I did," he replied, patting her head in an attempt to comfort her.<br>"I'm fine," she replied, standing and getting Harm to stand so she could pull the boxers all the way up.

Once he was dressed, Harm wrapped his arms around his wife and pulled her close. "When I'm feeling better I want to have this talk again. Okay?"  
>"Okay," Mac agreed although she knew they wouldn't; Harm wouldn't remember and she wouldn't bring it up.<p>

Fifteen minutes later, when Harm was asleep in their bed, having had some water and one of the rehydration ice blocks, Mac made her way back to the living room utterly exhausted and very hungry, lunch for her had been the last meal and that was more than 12 hours ago. Seeing Ella was still asleep, Mac smiled wearily before making her way to the kitchen and preparing herself a sandwich.

Two bites in, Ella called out and quickly Mac returned to her.  
>"Are you okay, El?" she asked, coming into the room.<br>"Yeah," she said, sitting up. "Just wanted to know where you were."  
>"I was just getting some supper," Mac said, coming to sit beside her.<br>"What time is it?" Ella asked, vaguely remembering her grandmother mentioning something about supper too.  
>"0149," she said, feeling her daughter's head.<br>"In the morning?" Ella asked surprised.  
>"Yes, in the morning," Mac confirmed.<br>"It's way past my bedtime," she said, "I think I'll be very tired at school tomorrow."  
>"You're not going to school tomorrow, honey," Mac said, wrapping an arm around her. "You're too sick for school."<br>"Oh, okay," Ella replied, closing her eyes once more."Can we watch Toy Story now? I didn't see much of it before."

Mac stood and started the DVD player before returning to the kitchen to get her sandwich and drink. Coming back to Ella, she placed the items on the floor beside her feet while she pulled the blanket over her daughter.  
>"How's daddy?" she asked with a yawn, her heavy eyes closing.<br>"Still sick," Mac replied, stroking her head.  
>"Is he sicker than me?" she asked, opening one eye.<br>"Yes, I think he just might be," Mac said, leaning down to pick up her soda.  
>"That's no good," she said, snuggling closer. "'Cos I feel really bad so he must feel really, really, really bad."<br>"I think he does," Mac said, leaning down and kissing her forehead.  
>"Poor daddy," she said with a sniffle. "If he needs you more than me, you can go sit with him."<br>"You are a wonderful daughter," Mac said, stroking her face. "Once I finish my sandwich, I'll go and check on him."

True to her word, Mac left Ella dozing on the sofa once she'd finished her supper and made her way to Harm finding him asleep but unsettled. Sitting next to him, she caressed his head and soon his head found its way into her lap as he sought out her touch. Once he was in his new position, Harm settled into a deep sleep and Mac finally leant her head back against the bed head and closed her eyes, hoping the worst was over.

Fatigued beyond words, Mac expected sleep to come quickly, even though she was sitting up; alas, there was no such luck. She spent the better part of the next few hours dozing on and off as she listened for signs Ella needed her and when Harm rolled back to his pillow, Mac slipped into the bed and sighed as her head finally sunk into her pillow. It was 0529 and she offered up a silent prayer she'd be able to have some uninterrupted sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: not mine  
>AN: this is a sequel of sorts to The Path to Healing, but I don't think it matters if you haven't read the first story.<p>

In Sickness and in Life 2/4

And for the next 63 minutes Mac did sleep, that was until she heard a noise and opened one eye to find Ella standing by her bed with tears streaming down her face.  
>"What's wrong, Ella?" she asked, sitting up.<br>"I'm really sorry, mommy," she sobbed, not stepping closer to her mother despite Mac's opened arms.  
>"What are you sorry about?" Mac asked, reaching for her hand.<br>"I'm sorry," she repeated. "I didn't mean for it to happen I just couldn't help it."  
>"Help what?" Mac asked, her brain in a sleep fog.<br>"I had an accident," she said, rubbing her hand across her face to dry her tears.  
>"Oh, baby," Mac said, standing up. "It's okay." She kissed Ella's head. "You're sick, you can't help wetting yourself."<br>"Oh, mommy," she sobbed. "It was more than wetting myself."  
>Mac just smiled, it was either that or cry. "That's okay too, baby. I know you didn't mean it."<br>"It's so embarrassing," Ella said, resting her head on Mac's chest.  
>"No one has to know," Mac said. Kissing her head. "It'll be our secret."<br>"Promise?" she asked, looking up at Mac with her tear stained face.  
>"Promise," she said, kissing her nose. "Okay, let's get you cleaned up."<p>

While Ella showered and cleaned herself, Mac went to work on the stained sofa, very glad they'd paid the extra to have it scotchgarded. Fifteen minutes later, she joined Ella in the bathroom and helped the child dry and dress once more.  
>"How are you feeling?" Mac asked as she dried the girl's hair.<br>"A bit better," she said wrapping her arms around Mac's waist. "Just really tired."  
>"I know the feeling, baby," Mac replied, hanging up the towel. "How about we climb into bed and see if we can get a bit more sleep?"<br>"Okay," she said with a nod, following her mother back to the bed.  
>"Do you need to use the bathroom first?" Mac asked as she held the covers up.<br>"No, I'm good," she said. "I promise I won't mess your bed."  
>Mac just smiled knowing it was a promise a sick little girl really couldn't make.<p>

It was another hour of sleep for Mac until the phone disturbed her. Silently she cursed anyone who dared call her at 0800 but then she remembered she did have a baby boy not at home.  
>"MacKenzie," she grumbled into the receiver.<br>"Oh, darling, I woke you, didn't I?" Trish said, instantly apologetic. "I'm so sorry."  
>"It's okay," Mac said, knowing the woman didn't mean to.<br>"How are things? You sound exhausted," she said, rocking David in her arms.  
>"Not great," Mac said before giving Trish a rundown of the night's events.<br>"You should have called, Frank or I would have come and helped out," Trish said, feeling sorry for her daughter-in-law.  
>"No, you and Frank did your share yesterday and the day before," Mac said. "And besides you have my little man there. He's no trouble is he?"<br>"Not at all," Trish said quickly. "He slept like a baby and ate all his breakfast."  
>"Good, I'm glad," she said, "Sounds like he missed the bug."<br>"Yes, it does," she said, as thankful as Mac was for the good luck. "I do think he misses his mommy though."  
>"Mommy misses him," Mac said tearfullly. She hated being away from her loved ones at any time.<br>"Why don't I come over for a bit and you can come here for a while? Maybe you can nurse him at lunch time and grab a nap with him this afternoon. It will do you both the world of good," Trish suggested.  
>"Sounds great," Mac said with a sigh. A nap sounded good. Very good.<p>

Leaving her patients sleep, Mac made the rounds and collected all the laundry dumped in various places the night before and sorted it into piles. She grimaced when she realised there were at least five loads and she wasn't looking forward to any of it. Putting on the first load, Mac headed to the kitchen and took in the mess in there as well. Used to a spotless kitchen, she frowned when she saw it was littered with plates and glasses and other bits and pieces over the benches. There was the mail from the last few days still unopened; there were keys and sunglasses, an empty soda bottle and a couple of stray pens.

There was a mountain of work throughout the house and she had no energy or inclination to do any of it. Still, she drew a deep breath, told herself to suck it up and started in the living room, making sure all evidence of Ella's accident was gone. Thankfully it was.  
>"Sweetheart, what are you doing?" Trish asked surprising her as she was on her hands and knees cleaning a spot from the carpet from where someone had spilt a drink.<br>"Oh, you're earlier than I expected," Mac said, getting to her feet.  
>"I thought you needed a break sooner rather than later," she said, wrapping her arm around Mac's shoulder. "Did you get any sleep in DC?"<br>"Nope," she said taking a deep breath. "Well, about five hours all up."  
>"You poor thing," Trish said, leading her back to the kitchen and sitting her on a stool. "I'm going to make you some breakfast and then you can head over to see your son. How does that sound?"<br>"It sounds great but there's a pile of work..." she began but Trish shook her head.  
>"Let me rephrase that," she interjected. "I am going to feed you and send you to La Jolla, okay?" she said firmly and Mac nodded.<br>"Okay," she agreed, though she had little choice.

Within the hour, Mac was on her way to her in-laws house and Trish set to in the house cleaning it from one end to the other, dividing her time with between the housework and the laundry, while also spending some time checking on the sleeping beauties in the master bedroom.

With the third load of laundry in the washing machine and the first two loads on the clothes line, Trish realised she was running out of room and as the third load finished she threw it into the tumble dryer before starting the fourth.

It was at this stage she decided a coffee was needed and poured herself a cup, taking a few precious minutes to sit at the table and drink it while flicking through some catalogues.  
>"Life of luxury, hey, mom," Harm said, wandering through the door and plonking himself in a chair opposite.<br>"Something like that, honey," she said with a smile, happy to see her son out of bed and far more coherent than the day before. "Can I get you something?"  
>"Not yet," he said with a sigh.<br>"Ella still asleep?" Trish asked and Harm nodded before yawning. "Good. She had a rough night."  
>"What happened?" Harm asked, scratching his chest.<br>Quietly, Trish explained things as Mac had explained them to her and Harm shook his head. "Why don't you go home, mom. You must be exhausted. I'm doing better. I'm sure I can look after myself and Ella."  
>"I'm not exhausted, darling," she said with a smile. "I only got here an hour and a half ago. Mac did all the hard work."<br>"Mac's in DC," he said, shaking his head.  
>"No, she came home yesterday evening," Trish explained. "She's gone to spend some time with David at my house and to take a much needed nap."<br>"Is she okay?" he asked, trying to put the pieces together; he had some vague recollection of Mac being with him the night before.  
>"She's exhausted," Trish said honestly. "She didn't get much sleep in DC and none last night."<br>"Oh," Harm said. "Poor thing."  
>"Yes, but I'm sure a few cuddles with David and some decent sleep and she'll be good as new," Trish said. "Now, I've got some chores to be getting on with. I want to have this place cleaned and organised so she doesn't have anything to do when she gets back."<br>"Can I help?" he asked, not too sure what he was actually capable of.  
>"Maybe you can go and check on Ella and see if she's ready for something to eat and drink," Trish suggested and Harm nodded before wandering back to his room.<p>

When he hadn't returned in ten minutes, Trish went to investigate and smiled when she saw father and daughter curled up together sound asleep. Breakfast would have to wait.

Meanwhile, Mac had arrived at the Burnett household in the late morning and was busy playing with David as Frank organised lunch for her, despite her protests; she really wasn't all that interested in food.  
>"Come on, Davy," he said, picking up David who had been playing on the floor with his mom. "Let's let your momma eat." He offered a hand to Mac and helped her stand. "It's lunch time."<p>

Sitting at the dining table, Mac looked over at her son sitting in his highchair, happy with the teething rusk Frank had given him. Looking down, she stared at the avocado pesto chicken pasta Frank had prepared. It looked nice enough, smelt alright but her stomach had been unsettled since breakfast and she was thinking she was succumbing to the same bug her husband and daughter had.  
>"Something wrong?" Frank asked, sitting down next to David.<br>"No, it looks great," she said, which in itself wasn't a lie.  
>"But you're not feeling well, are you?" he asked, standing and taking her dish.<br>"I'm not," she said shaking her head. "I'm sorry, Frank. You went to so much trouble."  
>"Honey, all I did was heat it up," he admitted with a smile. "Trish did all the hard work." Mac smiled in return and sighed. "Why don't you go and lie down for a bit while Davy naps and see how you're doing in a couple of hours?<p>

A couple of hours later, Mac returned home feeling slightly better and was pleased to find that Harm and Ella were both awake, sitting together in the living room watching Toy Story 3. While both were still looking a little pasty, they weren't as pale as they had been when she left and Mac took it as a good sign.  
>"How are you feeling, dear?" Trish asked, hooking her arm through Mac's and leading her to an armchair.<br>"Fine, thanks, Trish," Mac replied automatically in a whisper.  
>"Try again," she said, taking in the colour of Mac's skin and the dark circles under her eyes.<br>"Did Frank call you?" she asked and Trish nodded. "I'm alright...just feeling a little queasy."  
>"Well, these two seem to be on the mend," she reported with a weary smile.<br>"That's good," Mac replied with a sigh. It was then the others realised Mac was home.  
>"Hey, mommy's home!" Ella exclaimed, crawling out of her father's arms and moving across to her mother's.<br>"How are you feeling, baby?" Mac asked, bringing Ella into her lap and kissing her forehead.  
>"Doing better, mom," she said, leaning her head against Mac's shoulder.<br>"Glad to hear it," Mac said, leaning back in the chair and bringing Ella with her.  
>"How are you, gorgeous?" Harm asked, joining them.<br>"I'm o..." she started but Trish interrupted.  
>"Mac's not feeling too well," she said, raking her fingers through Mac's hair. "And I think we should send her to bed and ..."<br>"I slept for three hours at your place," Mac interjected.  
>"You need lots of fluid and lots of rest," Trish said firmly.<br>"Okay," she said begrudgingly after all she felt like she could sleep another ten hours.  
>"In that case," Harm said, helping Ella climb down. "I'm going to put you to bed." Taking both her hands, he pulled her up and smiled as she wrapped her arms around him, leaning her head against his chest and sighing deeply. "Come on."<p>

As they walked through the house, Mac noticed how spotless it looked and could only smile; she'd have to remember to thank Trish for all her work. Entering the bedroom, she smiled again when she saw the freshly made bed, just what she needed.  
>"Nightgown or pyjamas?" Harm asked as he sat Mac on the side of the bed and headed to her drawers.<br>"Nightgown," she said stifling a yawn before attempting to stand up. "But I can get it."  
>"Let me," he said, opening the drawer and picking up her favourite blue nightgown. "This one okay?" When Mac nodded he closed the drawer and brought it across to her. "Need some help changing?"<br>"Think I can manage," she said with a smile. "But wouldn't mind a bottle of water and maybe a bucket...just in case."  
>"Sure thing," he replied, leaning in and kissing her head.<p>

By the time Harm returned, Mac was nestled deep under the covers, her eyes closed and her skin looking paler against the white of her pillow. Quietly, Harm placed the bucket beside the bed and left the bottle on the bedside table. Deciding he'd rather keep a close eye on his wife than anything else, Harm left to check with his mother and daughter that they didn't need him. Assured they didn't, he returned to the bedroom and slipped off his robe before toeing off his slippers and peeling back the covers.

Sliding in beside her, Harm lay on his side and watched Mac sleep. It didn't take long for Mac to register she wasn't alone and slowly she made her way across the small gap and into his arms.

Holding on to her, Harm kissed her head and drifted off to sleep alongside her. It was an hour or so later that Harm awoke, pleased Mac was still in his arms and asleep. Slowly, he turned his head looking for the cause of his awakening.  
>"Daddy," Ella whispered. "How's mommy?"<br>"Still asleep," he whispered in reply.  
>"Are we well enough to look after her or do we need grandma to stay?" she questioned, creeping closer to his side of the bed.<br>"We can do it," he said, hoping he wasn't exaggerating their ability. "Why?"  
>""Cos grandpa called and I think Davy might be sick and grandma might need to go there," she reported, slowly climbing in beside him.<br>"Did grandma send you in?" he asked, concerned she would send Ella as a messenger given the circumstances.  
>"No, she's still on the phone," she said, snuggling into him. "But she was saying she thinks she's needed here too and I thought that maybe we'd be okay."<br>"We'll definitely be okay," he said, kissing her head. He would most definitely prefer to go and get his son and take care of him himself, however, he was also realistic. He was still lightheaded and lethargic, most likely, he wouldn't be well enough to drive the distance to reach him. Given those circumstances, he wanted his mother to do it for him. He trusted his mother implicitly when it came to his children's wellbeing.

It didn't take Ella long to fall asleep and Harm lay there listening for signs his mother was coming to check on Ella's whereabouts. He only had to wait five minutes.  
>"I thought as much," Trish whispered, peering through the door and seeing Harm was awake.<br>"Best thing for her... for both of them," he said, looking from his daughter to his wife and back to his mother.  
>"And what about you?" she asked, coming in and sitting at the foot of the bed.<br>"I woke up when El came in," he said. "I'm sure I'll be asleep five minutes after you leave too."  
>"Well, that's what I came to talk to you about," she said quietly and then proceeded to tell him of her phone call with Frank. Harm never let on that Ella had given him an early briefing.<br>"Well, mom, I know Frank is capable but I think we'd feel better if you were there with him and David," Harm said in a whisper. "Ella and I are doing much better and we can look after Mac, but David's just a baby and ..."  
>"Yes, that's what I was thinking," Trish said surprising him; maybe things were worse with David than she had let on.<br>"You will let us know how he is, and if he gets worse," Harm said, caressing Mac's head as she stirred.  
>"Of course," Trish said getting to her feet. "Now, what would you like me to do before I go?"<br>"Nothing, mom," he said with a brief shake of his head. "Thanks for everything you've done. We wouldn't have managed without you."  
>"Well, I won't say it was a pleasure," she said with a smirk. "As I can think of more pleasurable things to do, but you are most welcome. Call us if you need anything and either Frank or I will come straight away."<br>"And you will let us know about Davy, won't you?" Harm asked again.  
>"I'll take that repeated question as a sign of your concern for your son and not your level of consciousness," she said with a laugh. "Now, I'm not kissing any of you goodbye as someone needs to stay well."<br>"Bye, mom," he said and closed his eyes as Trish left the room and went home.

Feeling better than he had been, which wasn't all that hard considering he had felt worse than death, Harm didn't fall back to sleep, instead dozing on and off as his girls slept tucked against him. It did his heart wonders to know that in times like this he was still able to comfort and care for two of the most precious people in his life.

It was dark before Ella stirred again, this illness taking so much out of his usually bright and bubbly daughter.  
>"I'm hungry, daddy," she murmured when she saw he was looking at her.<br>"That's a good sign," he said, kissing her head.  
>"Are you?" she asked, managing to focus on his face.<br>"I think I am, a little," he said, kissing her forehead before the clock caught his eye. "Well, given it's nearly 7:30, I'm not surprised we're hungry."  
>"7:30 night or morning?" she asked with a yawn. It was so hard to keep track of such things when you were sick.<br>"Night," he said, letting her go as she sat up.  
>"I slept all afternoon?" she asked in surprise.<br>"Looks like it, kiddo," he said, "But it's for the best. It will make you get better quicker."  
>"Do you think mom will feel better when she wakes up?" she questioned, peering over her father to look at her mother.<br>"I hope so, baby," he replied, looking at Mac too. "But you have to remember we got really sick before we got better, mommy hasn't been really sick yet."  
>"Oh, poor mommy," she said pouting. "I hope she doesn't get as sick as me."<br>"Or me," Harm said, not wishing it on anyone.  
>"I'm feeling a little better," Mac said, her eyes still closed.<br>"Are you hungry?" Ella asked and Mac thought about it for a minute before she nodded. Ella slipped out of bed and disappeared.  
>"Where do you think she's going?" Mac asked Harm as she yawned and looked up at him.<br>"No idea," he replied. "Now, how are you really feeling?"  
>"Still a little fuzzy," she said, thinking it was the best word to describe how she was feeling. "I think it was everything catching up with me...I have had little sleep all week and I think that was a big contributing factor."<br>"Well, how about we go organise some supper and just curl up in the living room for a bit?" he said, needing a change of scenery. "And then we'll take it from there."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: not mine  
>AN: this is a sequel of sorts to The Path to Healing, but I don't think it matters if you haven't read the first story.<p>

In Sickness and in Life 3/4

As Mac and Harm appeared at the kitchen door, they smiled at the sight in front of them – Ella was there preparing toast for them to have with the pureed vegetable soup Trish had made earlier. Ella had three bowls on the bench with varying amounts of the liquid, and a few small splashes on the bench and all they required was a quick zap in the microwave.

"What's for supper, El?" Harm asked, wrapping his arm around Mac's waist.

"Grandma's soup and toast," she said, looking up at them.

"And where's grandma?" Mac asked, concerned Ella was unsupervised.

"She went home ages ago," Ella announced. "Because Davy's sick."

"What?" she asked looking at Harm.

Quickly explaining the events of the afternoon, Harm reassured Mac by showing her the texts Trish had sent to his cell with half hourly updates. Yes, the boy had an upset tummy. Yes, he had filled a few extra diapers. Yes, he was a little miserable but he was still eating, he was still playing with his baby gym and he was still sleeping well. Trish had also sent through a short video not twenty minutes earkier showing David in the bath splashing around.

"So, everything's alright?" she said, searching Harm's face.

"Everything's alright," he confirmed. "And, if it stays that way tomorrow, they'll bring David home."

Unfortunately, things were not alright the following morning with Mac spending nearly two hours in the bathroom vomiting. By the time she managed to crawl back into her bed she was sure there couldn't possibly be anything left in her system.

An hour later, she was proven wrong.

Having vomited most of Saturday morning, Mac slept most of the afternoon and awoke to the smell of freshly baked oatmeal cookies and she knew daddy and daughter must have been having one of their famous cooking sessions. Her first thought was that it would result in her vomiting once more but to her good luck, they made her feel hungry.

Climbing from bed, Mac pulled on her robe and padded out to find the cookies.

"Hey, mommy!" Ella said excitedly, putting down the dishcloth in favour of hugging Mac. "How are you feeling?"

"Hungry," she said, kissing Ella's flour streaked hair. "I hope one of those cookies has my name on it."

"You can have as many as you like," she replied proudly. "Would you like some milk like daddy and me?"

"Ah, no," Mac said slowly, she was feeling better but not that much better and she didn't want to imagine what milk would do to her system. "I think I best stick to water, at least for today."

"Okay," Ella replied. "I'll get it for you."

"You look brighter," Harm said as Ella disappeared into the fridge.

"Yeah, feeling it," she said, leaning against him and hugging him.

"You're still pale," he observed before kissing her forehead.

"So are you," she replied with a yawn.

"Healthy lot, aren't we?" he said with a laugh as Ella handed Mac a bottle of water.

"Do you want to eat them here or in the living room or in bed?" Ella asked, carefully holding a plate of cookies in the other hand.

"How about in the living room," she said, following Ella as she took off towards the other room.

It was a quiet evening and they enjoyed a game of Scrabble Junior before Ella had a bath and went to bed. Mac followed soon after and Harm spent his time cleaning up while Mac was in the bath before joining her in bed; very glad that it seemed the siege was over.

Sunday morning dawned and Mac felt okay upon waking, so okay, she texted Trish and asked for them to bring David home, she missed him so much. Glad to do so, Trish and David arrived little after ten while Frank stayed home after not feeling well through the night.

The moment Trish was through the door, Harm and Ella were all over David, so glad to have him home. So sorry it was because they were ill he was shipped off to La Jolla.

"I missed you so much, Davy – wavy," Ella cooed as she gently stroked his face. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I think he is," Trish reported, "He ate all his breakfast and no extra diapers overnight."

"Ah, my beautiful boy," Harm said, scooping the baby from his carrier. "I'm so glad you're home. Did you say thank you to grandma and grandpa for looking after you?"

"He can't talk yet," Ella said with a laugh. Gee, her dad was silly sometimes.

"Where's Mac?" Trish asked as she went about unpacking the infant's belongings.

"Back in bed," Harm said, nodding towards their room.

"I thought she was feeling better," she said, pausing as she held onto a range of baby bottles.

"She was," Harm said, "Until she got up and then it started all over again."

"Aha," Trish said with a nod.

"Aha, what?" Harm asked, it didn't seem like an 'aha' moment to him.

"Nothing," she said. "I was just acknowledging what you said." Moving to the bench, she placed David's bottles on the counter before pulling out his clean clothes from the bag. "I'll just go put these in the nursery."

"I can do it, mom," Harm said, putting his hands out. "It's the least I can do."

"Nonsense," she said, shaking her head. "You spend some time with your boy."

Doing as she said she would, Trish made her way from the nursery to the master bedroom, slowly easing the door opened.

"Hello, darling," she said when she saw Mac was awake. "I've just brought your son home."

"Thanks, Trish," Mac said, sitting up. "For everything. I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome," she said, coming to sit facing her on the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay, I think," she replied honestly.

"Harm said you've been vomiting again today," she reported. "Are you sure you want David home?"

"Yes, I'm sure," she said. "I'm okay for the most part...well, except for the mornings...it just comes in waves."

"Waves in the morning," Trish reiterated, wanting to see if Mac was on the same track as she was.

"Yeah, but a sleep and I'll be fine this afternoon," she said. "At least that's how yesterday panned out."

"That's good to hear," she said with a nod. "Have you considered you might not have the same stomach bug Harm and Ella had?"

"Well, I certainly don't have it as bad as they did," she said nodding.

"Mac, honey," Trish said taking her hands. "Those two had a severe stomach bug, call it mother's intuition but yours sounds more like morning sickness to me."

Mac flinched at the words, just as if Trish had slapped her, 'morning sickness' no, that wasn't possible. Well, yes, it was possible but David was only eight months old, she was still breastfeeding or expressing where necessary, she had had no hormone injections or fertility intervention, like she had with her other three pregnancies. No, it wasn't possible.

"Honey?" Trish said, squeezing Mac's hand. "Talk to me," she said, concerned by Mac's sudden pallor and hoping she wasn't about to vomit again.

"I can't be pregnant," she whispered not wanting anyone to overhear them.

"You and Harm haven't...since David?" she asked, her brow creasing.

"No, we have," she said ...lots, but that was something Trish didn't need to know.

"So?" she probed.

While Mac listed all the reasons she couldn't be pregnant, why it was impossible, Trish sat and listened but then popped the little bubble she had created for herself.

"Anything is possible, Sarah," she whispered. "Would you like me to go and get a pregnancy test?"

"No," Mac said shaking her head before slowly changing it to a nod. "Maybe..." she added before taking a deep breath. "Yes... I guess I should know whether this is the stomach bug or something else," she said, not prepared to acknowledge it as a baby yet.

"Okay," Trish said standing up and letting go of Mac's hand. "I'll go out now."

"Don't tell Harm!" she said alarmed.

"Of course not," she replied. "I'll tell him I'm running an errand for you and, if he presses me on it, I'll tell him it's for feminine hygiene products. I know he won't say anything else."

Mac laughed; ten years of being with Harm and he was still embarrassed purchasing the essential items Mac needed monthly.

As soon as the word 'feminine' was out of his mother's mouth, Harm stepped aside and gestured towards the door. With Trish promising to be back in 15 minutes, he wasn't sure if he should go and see Mac now or wait until after Trish had returned. Deciding he should be a man, Harm took a deep breath and headed to the bedroom.

"How are you doing, gorgeous?" he asked when he saw her chocolate brown eyes gazing at him.

"Okay," she said with a sigh.

"Mom said she'd only be about 15 minutes," he said, sitting on the bed and caressing her face. "You could have told me, I would have gone for you," he said, so very glad she hadn't.

"It's okay," Mac said with a smile. "I didn't realise I needed them until she was here, so it worked out alright."

"Is there anything I can do for you?" he asked, studying her face. She had a look that he just couldn't place and he thought he knew everyone of them.

"No, thanks," she said, picking up his hand and kissing it. "How's David?"

"Good," he said with a smile. This was their first good news in days. "Ella's playing with him at the moment."

"Good," she echoed, nodding her head, wondering whether she should see him now or wait until the pregnancy test was done. If she was actually sick, and not pregnant, then she'd have to be careful about not exposing him to the bug too.

"Do you want me to get him?" Harm asked squeezing her hand.

"Um, no," she said, "I'll wait 'til your mom gets back and then have a shower and change first."

"I don't think Davy will mind you looking a bit dishevelled," Harm said, gazing into her eyes.

"I know," Mac said with a weary smile. "But I need a shower and I want to make sure I don't expose him to this bug."

"Fair enough," Harm said, it made sense. "I think you'd have to battle Ella for him at the moment anyway," he said with a laugh. "I'm sure she thinks he is her own doll or baby."

"I'm glad she's so good with him," Mac said, "She's such a help," she added, knowing she'd need all the help she could get if she had two under 18 months.

A yawn from Mac was Harm's sign to go.

"Mom won't be long now," he said, standing and kissing her forehead. "I'll get her to drop the things in for you but not wake you."

"Okay," she said, knowing there was no way Trish was going to let her sleep once she returned.

Seven minutes later, Trish appeared in the bedroom, closing the doors behind her. From her handbag she produced the Early Pregnancy Test and handed it to Mac before pulling out a box of sanitary napkins.

"Well, if this is positive I won't need them for a while," Mac said, swinging her legs from the bed.

"I know," Trish said with a nod. "But I bought them in case Harm insisted on bringing them to you."

"Ah, good thinking," she said heading to the bathroom. Pausing by the door, Mac turned back to face Trish. "Are you in a hurry to go or can you wait with me?"

"I can wait, darling," she said, grateful for the close relationship she had with Mac. While their official link was as 'in-law' Trish considered Mac as her daughter, nothing more, nothing less. "Although," she said before pausing. "Would you rather have Harm? I can watch the children."

"No," Mac said, shaking her head. "I...My...I need to get my head around it first..."

"Okay, Mac," she said with a smile. "You go do what you need to and I'll be right here."

A few minutes later, Mac reappeared and sat beside Trish at the end of the bed waiting for the three minutes to elapse. After a minute of silence, Trish decided someone needed to speak.

"What result are you hoping for?" she asked, her arm wrapped around Mac.

"Um..." Mac said before shrugging. "Harm and I always wanted children...and we've had three...any child we have will be loved and cherished ... and this one ... if it is one... will be a miracle ... coming along unassisted..."

"You haven't answered the question, honey," Trish said, giving her a slight squeeze.

"Another baby would be a blessing," Mac said with a smile. "A lot of hard work...physically...to have two under eighteen months ... and a career...and Ella and Harm..."

"Maybe it's time you reassessed things," she said gently.

"I was thinking that myself," Mac said before getting to her feet. The moment of reckoning was upon them.

Two steps towards the door and Mac paused.

"Would you like me to get Harm now?" Trish asked and Mac nodded, Harm was exactly what she needed.

Upon his mother's instructions, Harm reported, as ordered, to the bedroom. Not sure what was going on, he was concerned to find his wife sitting on the end of their bed, her eyes fixed on the bathroom door, her eyes filled with tears.

Closing the door behind him, Harm sat beside her and took her hands in his.

"What's going on?" he asked and she nodded towards the bathroom. "The bathroom?" he asked and she nodded once more.

"There's something in there that's um...worrying me," she said quietly.

"Is there a spider or bug or roach you want me to deal with?" he asked with a smile and Mac shook her head. "What is it?"

"Go see," she said taking a deep breath. "You won't miss it."

"Okay," he said standing up and letting go of her hands.

"Just one thing, Harm," she said when he reached the door. "Can you tell me that you love me before you go in?"

Spinning around, Harm marched straight back to her and helped her stand, "Sarah MacKenzie-Rabb, I love you with all my heart, with everything I am... no matter what is inside there."

"Okay," she said, this time keeping hold of his hand. "I'll come with you."

Opening the door, Harm's eyes immediately fixed on the test and he paused momentarily.

"Is that what I think it is?" he asked, his eyes slowly moving from the bench to his wife.

"It is," she confirmed.

"Do you think you're pregnant?" he asked, drawing her face up to look at her.

"I don't know," she said honestly.

"But you thought you'd do a test anyway?" he questioned, things still a little hazy for him.

"No," she said. "Your mom thought I should do a test...that's what she went out for."

"Why would mom think you were pregnant?" he asked as they stood frozen at the door.

"She called it mother's intuition," Mac said with a nervous laugh.

"In that case..." Harm said moving forward; his mother's intuition was practically infallible.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: not mine  
>AN: I apologise for not replying to reviews from the previous chapter. The links with the reviews are not operational. Please know I very much appreciate your time and enthusiasm for this story. xox<p>

In Sickness and in Life 4/4

Unable to contain her curiosity, or growing excitement, Trish returned to the bedroom eight minutes later to find Harm and Mac still standing entwined in the bathroom. Mac's arms were firmly wrapped around Harm's waist, her head tucked under this chin. One of Harm's arms was across her back, the other cradling her head, his own head dipped as he whispered to her.

Not too sure what to make of the scene, Trish stopped in the doorway and studied them. It was Harm who first noticed they weren't alone.  
>"Well?" Trish asked in a whisper, though she didn't know why.<br>Harm pulled back slightly from Mac as she raised her head to look at her mother-in-law.  
>"Positive," she said with a smile.<br>"So this is good?" Trish asked looking from one to the other.  
>"It's good," Mac said and Harm nodded.<br>"It's good," he confirmed before kissing Mac's head.  
>"Oooh, I'm so happy for you," she said, crossing the small room and embracing them both.<br>"We're happy too," Mac said. "And I want to say thank you for earlier..."  
>"You're more than welcome, Mac," she said, kissing the younger woman's cheek. "How are you feeling now?"<br>"Oh, still a little dazed...a little washed out...a little...whatever," she said leaning against Harm once more. "But far happier about things and what lies ahead than I was before I knew the result," she added, squeezing Harm.  
>"Very good," Trish said, rubbing Mac's back. "Now, I can take the kids home with me if you two want time to talk...or celebrate..."<br>"Unfortunately, I don't think we're up for celebrating," Mac said, suggestively accenting 'celebrating' which had Trish laughing and Harm blushing. "And probably won't until we have it medically confirmed... Thanks for the offer but I think I want the kids here with me for a bit. I have missed being a mom this week."  
>"You've been a great mom this week," Harm said, kissing her head.<br>"No, I was marine and nurse and patient..." she said shaking her head. "Not a lot of mom time there."  
>"You were also provider, nurturer and sick," he corrected gently. "And we love you for it."<br>"For being sick?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow.  
>"No, for taking care of us," he said, kissing her once more.<br>"Okay," she said feeling a little better.

Later that night when the kids were bedded down and the remnants of supper had been cleared away, Harm sat an armchair while Mac sat draped across his lap, her head resting on his.  
>"You've been very quiet tonight," Harm observed, running his hand up and down her leg.<br>"Trying to take it all in," she said, her fingers dancing slowly on his chest.  
>"Are you alright about this?" he asked concerned about her reaction.<br>"Yeah, I am," she said with a nod. "Just wasn't expecting it...you know?"  
>"Yeah," he agreed holding her a little tighter.<br>"Are you okay with it?" she asked him, placing her palm against his cheek and keeping her eyes on his.  
>"I am," he said, his lips gently crossing hers. "Ella was the result of a lot of hard work...medically speaking, as was Callum," he said, taking a breath to control his emotions which were always an issue when their eldest son came up, "With David we had a little help but I think he was a godsend and this one has come on his or her own and I think that's a blessing in itself."<br>"I think so too," Mac agreed, leaning her head on him once more. "Girl or boy?"  
>"Healthy," was Harm's reply. After all, in the end, that's all that mattered.<p>

It was later that Sunday night they climbed into bed, instantly wrapping themselves in each other. The news was good, the future would be good, the difficulties of the past were certainly behind them, but still Mac found it difficult to settle.  
>"Talk to me," Harm whispered when he realised she was still awake.<br>"About?" she asked although she knew exactly what he was talking about.  
>"Mac," he said and his tone spoke volumes.<p>

Three deep breaths later, Mac looked up at him able to make out his concerned expression in the ambient lighting. "We're okay, aren't we?"  
>"What do you mean?" he asked, letting go with one arm so he could lean back and flick on the lamp.<br>"We've had our problems..." she said, not daring to look at him.  
>"In the past," he said, hooking his finger under her chin so he could read her face. "And during those problems we never stopped loving each other."<br>"I know," she said with a nod.  
>"Why is this coming up now?" he asked very concerned, they had been reconciled for two and a half years.<br>"I guess I'm feeling a little insecure," she admitted, fighting her tears.  
>"Why, gorgeous?" he asked, his anxiety increasing.<br>"Ah, Harm," she said with a sigh. "I don't know..." she said as the first tears escaped. "I don't know what it is...I'm feeling completely ... I don't know..." She started sobbing.  
>"Okay, okay," he said, drawing her to him and stroking her head. She had spent the week exhausted and sick, now was not the time to be trying to come up with coherent and logical thoughts.<br>"I do love you," she said, into his chest.  
>"I love you too," he replied kissing her head. "And we'll talk about this tomorrow when you're feeling better and have had some more sleep. Okay?"<br>"Thank you," she replied, tearfully, before looking up and kissing him.  
>"Just one question," he said, needing to know the answer otherwise there would be no sleep. "Are you happy with me...with life as we have it?"<br>"Yes, very much so," she said quickly, sealing her words with a kiss.  
>"Okay," he said with a nod, that's all he needed to know ... for now.<p>

The following day, life started its return to normal with Ella going back to school. Harm had arranged to go into the office in the afternoon, wanting to stay close to Mac in the morning in case she should need him. Trish had volunteered to come and sit with Mac and David or to take the baby for the afternoon, depending on what Mac needed and Mac, true to the pattern she had established, spent the morning vomiting and the afternoon sleeping, Trish staying there to keep an eye on her.

It was a little after two that Mac wandered from the bedroom in search of some company. It didn't take her long to find it on the back porch. After Trish had greeted her, she disappeared into the house to make them both some tea and Mac spent time cuddling her son.  
>"So, how are you doing this afternoon?" Trish asked taking her seat beside Mac.<br>"Much better than this morning, thanks," she said, blowing on her tea.  
>"Harm made you a tentative appointment with your doctor for this afternoon," Trish said, "It's for 4:00. Harm said he'd come home and take you, if you are up to it, and I'll be here for Ella."<br>"Sounds like it's all organised," Mac said, taking a sip.

It was all organised and the doctor's appointment was pretty straight forward. The urine test said pregnant and the results of the blood test would be known in the morning. Pulling the car over at a park near their home, Harm turned it off and climbed out before walking around and helping Mac out too.  
>"I thought we might sit here in the fresh air for a bit," Harm said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and leading her to a bench.<p>

Mac nodded although she knew it wasn't just the fresh air that Harm wanted. She had felt bad all day for the conversation she'd tried to have the night before. Deciding, that as she was the one who had started it last night, she should start it today, Mac drew a deep breath.  
>"My insecurities..." she said, entwining her fingers with his. "Aren't about the past," she continued. "Last night, I really couldn't put my thoughts into words and I don't know how much better I am today... but some things are clearer in here..." she said, tapping her head.<br>"Aha," he said, not knowing what else to say.  
>"My insecurities...if that's what they even are...are about the future," she said taking her gaze up to meet his. "The last time we were faced with a major change in our lives...we didn't make it," she said referring to Callum.<br>"I don't understand," he said, shaking his head.  
>"We lost Callum and everything fell apart," she said, tilting her head.<br>"I know," he said, holding her closer. "Do you think we'll lose this one?"  
>"No," she said, shaking her head.<br>"After Callum though we had David, that was life changing, wasn't it? And we grew closer as a result," Harm said softly.  
>"Yeah, but it's not the same as this," she said shaking her head.<br>"Mac, honey, I don't know where you're going with this but you're scaring me," he said, his blue eyes bright with unshed tears.  
>"My twenty years are up," she said, trying to work her way through her muddled thoughts. "And I think it's time I retired and was a stay at home mom for a bit."<br>"You can do that," he said, "You can do anything you want."  
>"But it's a major change," she said, and this is where her insecurities were coming from.<br>"It's a positive change," he said, kissing her head.  
>"You won't mind me staying home?" she asked quietly.<br>"Of course not," he replied. "I want you to do what makes you happy."

Tucking her head into his neck, Mac thought for a bit longer. "When Ella was born I was okay being at work. I got to see her regularly, breastfed, got to tuck her in every night. And you had retired and had more flexibility so between you and your mom I knew she was in good hands, I'd never have put her in fulltime day care."

Harm nodded and waited her to continue on her somewhat convoluted story.  
>"Then when we had David, Ella was already at school and it was like it was with Ella, you and your mom looked after him and I got to do all the same things, like with Ella," she said staring at the trees off to the side of them. "But this one makes two under 18 months and you've been working longer hours and your mom's not getting younger and ...well, I want to spend time with Davy and this one."<p>

Harm still couldn't see the issue.  
>"I think that's a great idea," he said, "I'm sure the kids would love having you at home."<br>"Really?" she asked, looking up at him, her eyes wide.  
>"Really," he said, "Why would you think otherwise?"<br>"Because ..." she said before pausing. "Because I don't know how to be a fulltime mom and I'm scared I won't do it properly and that will cause problems with us and I couldn't handle things going wrong between us again, I really couldn't."  
>"Hey hey, hey," he said, pulling her close and kissing her head repeatedly. "Where's this coming from? You are an amazing mom. Our children are blessed to have you."<br>"Do you really think that?" she questioned, hating herself for being so doubtful.  
>"Definitely," he said, raking his fingers through her hair.<br>"I don't know why I'm thinking this way," she said, growing increasingly concerned about her own behaviour. "Wednesday I was away on conference and everything was fine and today my world seems to be upside down."  
>"Mac," he said, making sure she was looking at him. "Let's start this again...do you want this baby?" he asked, and although he knew the answer he wanted to hear it from her.<br>"Of course I do," she said, surprised he'd even asked.  
>"Okay," he said. "Do want to retire?"<br>"Yes, I do," she said. "I've been thinking about it for a couple of months now and I guess this just made the decision final."  
>"Okay," he said, wanting to know why she hadn't raised it with him beforehand but leaving the question go for another time. "<p>

A sudden shower brought an end to their discussion and both knew nothing had been sorted out; still, with Mac not too sure what she was thinking or saying, she considered this to be a good thing.

With Harm at work the next day, and Trish there to help look after David, Mac was feeling better about things; maybe not physically but certainly emotionally, especially after she had the phone call which confirmed the pregnancy.

After lunch which, for her, consisted of crackers and dry ginger ale, Mac decided she needed Trish's support and explained what had been happening the last few days with her and Harm,  
>"I knew something was amiss but I didn't realise it was anything like that," Trish said, putting down her coffee.<br>"The thing is..." Mac started slowly, her brain finally feeling like it was in gear. "Today I woke up and feel good about things. I don't know where the doubts and confusion came from."

"Well, that's good, isn't it?" Trish asked, not sure what to make of the whole situation.  
>"Yes, it is," Mac confirmed with a nod. "Except..." her voice trailed.<br>"Except, what, honey?" Trish asked, hanging on Mac's every word. She was heartbroken when the pair separated before; she didn't know if she was strong enough to endure it again.  
>"Except, now I think Harm thinks I'm unhappy in the marriage or with him or that I'm crazy or that...well, whatever he's thinking I know it's not positive," she said, fighting her tears, This was supposed to be a happy occasion, she had no idea why she had ruined it. Silently her tears fell.<br>"Oh, honey, honey," Trish said, moving around and sitting next to Mac and wrapping her arms around her. "Don't cry, don't cry. I'm sure it will all be fine."

Deciding that she and Harm needed to have a proper, uninterrupted conversation, and soon, Mac agreed with Trish's suggestion that she take David and pick Ella up from school and keep them overnight. Once Trish left, Mac called Harm and asked him to come home as early as he could and then she went to have a shower and freshen up.

Given that he had already intended on being home before Ella, Harm left the office almost immediately and was home, very concerned, only minutes after Mac had finished dressing.  
>"Whoa, Harm!" Mac said startling as he entered their bedroom. "I didn't expect you so soon."<br>"I came as soon as you called," he said, still standing inside the door, not too sure what to do.  
>"I did say it wasn't an emergency, didn't I?" she said, a frown creasing her brow.<br>"Yes, you did," he agreed with a nod. "But I didn't want to take a chance."  
>"On what?" she asked, putting down her hairbrush.<br>"On what I would find...positive or negative..." he said with a shrug. "I just really needed to see you."

Taking in his features, Mac could see the telltale signs of stress. Not the work based ones she was accustomed to seeing, but the stress born of utter concern for his family, for her. Quickly, she closed the gap and wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close to her. Just as fast, he wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her to him. For a while they stood there, both seeking to soothe the other.

Slowly, Mac leant back and gazed at him, her grip never loosening.  
>"I wanted you home for many reasons," she said quietly. "But the main one was to apologise. Once the doctor called this morning to confirm the pregnancy this wave of calmness seemed to wash over me. Then after I had thrown up and napped, I felt so much clearer about things."<br>"I'm so glad to hear that," he said, kissing her forehead and hoping his heart would now fall back into its proper rhythm.  
>"And the first thing that struck me was that I have no idea what I was so worried about over the past few days," she said, releasing one hand so she could caress his face. "Up until I got sick, I had no doubts or concerns about us and I honestly don't know where the insecurity came from."<br>"Maybe you just weren't thinking straight," he said, hoping she was telling the complete truth.  
>"I think that was it," she agreed. "I was exhausted, sick and hormonal and what came out was a convoluted mess."<br>"Well, I'm very glad to hear that's what it was because I don't have to tell you, I was very worried," he said, rubbing his nose against hers.  
>"I know, and I'm so sorry I put you through it," she said, brushing her lips against his. "I really am."<br>"I called Dr Abrahams this morning," he said, referencing the counsellor they had seen for couple's therapy after they had reconciled. "Made an appointment for us for later this week... because after everything you'd said I wanted to make sure we sorted it out as early as possible."  
>A tear rolled down her cheek.<br>"I cannot, will not, ever let anything come between us," he said earnestly, using his thumb to remove her tears. "I will do anything; go anywhere to make sure it never happens again."  
>"I know," she whispered, kissing away his tears away. They had learnt a lifelong lesson during their separation and neither one was prepared to let this relationship falter. "I love you so much, Harm, and I promise you I am really okay with everything."<br>"I love you too, Mac," he said, holding her close once more. "Do you want me to cancel the appointment?"  
>"Yeah, I do," she said with a nod. "I have everything I will ever need to help me through life right here in my arms." She kissed him but then thought about her answer. "Actually, I wouldn't mind speaking to the doctor," she said slowly and Harm's concern spiked once more. "I don't think I'm as good with things about Callum as I should be."<p>

Surprised by her honesty, Harm nodded. "I don't think I am either," he admitted. "I find myself thinking of him more and more ... thinking about what he'd look like, what he'd be doing."  
>"Me too," Mac said sadly. "Maybe it's normal because Harriet says she still thinks about Sarah every day."<br>"But do you want to check with Dr Abrahams to make sure?" he questioned and she nodded, not wanting to let anything come between her and Harm and their life together again.

Unhurriedly, Harm's lips made their way down from Mac's forehead to her lips. What started as a gentle exchange of love and trust, soon developed a life of its own and Harm soon realised this was headed somewhere it shouldn't, considering Mac's current health and his recent illness.

Slowly, he pulled back, smiling at her dazed expression as her eyes fluttered opened.  
>"Why'd we stop?" she asked, raking her fingers through his hair.<br>"I didn't want to," he said, one hand moving to make circles on her back.  
>"So, why did you?" she questioned, pressing up against him.<br>"Because you haven't been well and ..." he started before her lips covered his, starting things over once more.

Pulling back for a breath, Mac smiled at him. "Morning sickness ... just affecting me in the mornings. I'm okay now. As long as we take things slowly, right now will be absolutely fine ... unless you're..."

There were no more words, just a gentle and passionate exchange of love and adoration in the early evening of an otherwise quiet house. They had survived their problems in the past and their reconciliation had reaffirmed their vows; they were in it, for better, for worse, in sickness and in anything else life handed them.


End file.
